Thursday, January 1, 2009

Maybe. Just Maybe.

Maybe this will be my year. I HOPE this will be my year. I was going to write today about the positives in my life. I was going to wake up with a zest for the new year. And then, I cried. I didn't get to talk to Tinker Tot today. Usually, no big deal if I go one day without talking to her. But when I can't talk to her because someone is being spiteful on purpose well that's a different story. It's OK I'll survive. She was supposed to spend New Year's Eve and today with me and Blue. I had to make one of those really hard choices that splits my heart in two. AGAIN. While it was the best choice for all of us, it really stings that I couldn't talk to her today.

On a lighter note, I am working on writing my goals and dreams down for this year. Blue Bell showed me her list yesterday. Of course, it was all centered around gymnastics. It was a really good list of goals. I don't know where she learned how to do that. Write down goals, positives, and go for them! I know that in the short term things in my life might be rough and choppy. There will be those moments of soaking in the joy. I know the one goal I set for myself 2 yrs is about to come to fruition. When it does, I'll be dancing on the ceiling LOL. Till then, well today, this moment, I'm hanging on with my fingertips. Telling myself over and over again. I will not snap, I will not be pushed down, I will not be bullied, I will be the BETTER PERSON no matter how much I want to scream.


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